| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2005|09:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Puff Johnson - Over and Over | ] |
Not a great day today. My grandad died last night but he was in his nineties and he went peacefully so I suppose its not a great tragedy. Still feels sad though. Other than that the only other thing that really happened today was that I almost got attacked by someone in Broad Street who wanted to sell me a day painballing. Do you think Im the sort of person that would go paintballing? I ran away and she almost rugby tackled me.
Rest in peace grandad x |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2005|08:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  optimistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Massive Attach - Unfinished Sympathy | ] |
Time for an update! I had a fab holiday in Egypt and I got the job as a supervisor for M&S. So all is good! Finished at the hell hole now with full pay until next week without my attendance! Yay! University application still very touch and go at the moment and still not sure if im going this year so ill have to wait and see. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2005|10:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bette Midler - You Don't Own Me | ] |
Time for a long awaited update me thinks! So I sit here in the cybercafe in the Kings Road campus called Megabite (no eating or drinking) <--go figure. Over two months since my split with Dave now, seeing somebody new and off to Egypt on Saturday with him. Hes a smashing bloke, a bit older than me, but we really get each other so its all good for now.
As per usual for this time of year im absolutley staggeringly behind with my college work, but isn't that all part of the fun?
James has a new boyfriend call Duncan so i'm in competition for his time nowadays! I'm gonna miss him so badly come September when we go our seperate ways, our early morning cups of coffee in anywhere that serves it at the time we have to get up, moaning about everything from men to Readings shocking traffic. I guess i'm gonna have to make the most of the next few months!
My shit job has recently achieved new levels of shitdom and so am applying for a job as supervisor at the new M&S Simply Food store at Reading Central station. Interview tomorrow. Wish me luck.
I smelt freshly cut grass today when I left home! Yay! Winter is leaving for sure. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|10:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Joshua Kadison - Jessie | ] |
The most important break up rule:
Don't look at pictures where he looks good, and you look happy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|12:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Corrs - Long Night | ] |
The seasons are changing again, you first realise when for the first time in a long time it’s not completely dark when you leave work for home.
I’ve been keeping my head up pretty well, and up until now I’d had enough distractions to keep me from pondering over my failed relationship.
There is something about being ill which triggers massive self pity, at least in men anyway! For me its not being able to have Dave come round and hug me to make me feel better and for the first time in a really, really long time I actually feel really lonely.
I don’t know if it’s my break up, the time of year, or the weather but the city doesn’t seem so friendly. It feels harsh and cold.
I am desperately trying to ignore a certain forthcoming Monday, and a would-have-been 3 year anniversary that follows a week or so later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|09:33 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Getting there | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Rooster - Staring At The Sun | ] |
Yay! I am back online again! About time! So I have been a v busy lad this weekend, went with J to London on Friday night stayed out ALL night, got back to Reading at 7, slept for an hour an then stayed up all day till 11pm! I am hardcore!
London was fun, strange thing is though, when your in a relationship all you want to be is single but when you get there you realise your not that bothered.
Thats the thing about needs, sometimes when you get them met, you don't need them anymore. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2005|09:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Lucie Silvas - What You're Made Of | ] |
Movies and the rest of media would have us beleive that break-ups are romantic, that Celine Dion plays in the background while the ill fated couple share one last tragic kiss. The truth of the matter is however that there is nothing romantic about them, theres no violins or rolling credits, break ups are raw and they are awful.
CIGARETTES SMOKED: 50 million +
ALCOHOL CONSUMED: More than enough |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|01:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Wilson Phillips - Hold On | ] |
And so somehow, someway, I managed to get myself out of the mess and find my home. In a desperate attempt not to hurt him I had ended up hurting both of us more then I could ever have comprehended. Sometimes, relationships aren't wrong, but somehow they just aren't right. Maybe the way I have treated him will haunt me for the rest of my life, maybe ill regret making this life altering decision, maybe I won't. One thing I do know about life, after spending the afternoon crying on J's shoulder, is that you'll never make it through without your friends. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2004|10:48 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas | ] |
It's offical. I hate Christmas. Call me Scrooge but this month my Mastercard has been swiped more times than i've changed underwear. Seriously. In fact I beleive there was only day this month where my credit card was not used at all, which caused all the computers at my bank to crash and quickly promted a call from 'Shelly' at Mastercard who was concerned that I may have been wiped out in some freak napalm incident. Bless her, she really seemed quite concerned. And yet somehow, despite this financial chaos, I still havent done half my Christmas shopping. I did go into the city this morning and browsed the shops over 3 frappucappuchinos but have returned rather presentless. I still managed to swipe my Mastercard three times though. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2004|04:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Michelle Branch - Tuesday Morning | ] |
Feeling back on form today, J came round yesterday when I was feeling sorry for myself and gave me an ear bashing and told me to get over it, which I thank him for. Walked to college this morning in the freezing cold which took 45 minutes and once id got there I realised I had left my project on my bed, so I told my tutor I was just dashing to the library on B floor when in actual fact I grabbed a bus home to get my project and a bus back which I managed in a skillful 45 minutes. She was non the wiser. I had to walk back home at the end of the day however after spending my return bus fare on some shortbread which was an impulse buy from the canteen. |
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| Survival Of The Fittest - My Thought For The Day |
[Dec. 1st, 2004|12:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Michelle Branch - Breathe | ] |
In life, in order to be at our strongest we sometimes have to admit and face up to our weaknesses, our fears and what we are scared of. Often those who appear to be strongest are the weakest underneath, real strength is to challenge and face our fears in a world where only the strongest really survive.
Some of us spend years pretending to be strong and confident but it is often only when we really let ourselves go that we begin to learn and become something real.
So when you live in a city like Reading, with all its stresses and pressures sometimes life can push you under, we lose our way and when we do it can be really difficult to find our way back. Sometimes the hardest thing to admit is that we are lost in the first place, because it can leave us feeling vunerable and our lives open to interpretation.
Sometimes you fly, sometimes you fall, but in real life when real people fall down we get right back up again and keep on walking because with every cut and every graze we gain we learn a little something more about this thing called life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2004|03:52 pm] |
Just like I predicted, We're at the point of no return
We can go backwards, and no corners have been turned.
I can't control it, if I sink or if I swim
'cause I chose the water that I'm in.
If it's not what you're made of,
You're not what I'm looking for
You are willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way, You're changing, cause somethings will just never be mine,
For me, its not 'the one' this time.
I hear you talking, but your words don't mean a thing.
But I chose the waters that I'm in.
What's my definition of 'the one' ?
What I really want him to become?
No matter what I sacrifice it's still never going to be enough
Just like I predicted, We're at the point of no return
We can go backwards, and no corners have been turned.
I can't control it, if I sink or if I swim
'cause I chose the water that I'm in.
How did I let it get this far? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2004|04:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  worried | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Reading 107 | ] |
My landlord returns on Saturday after six weeks of being away. I am in a state of panic. Here is a complete list of things I have done in his absence:
1) Blown up the water tank, which took 2 weeks to repair
2) Broken the dining room heater
3) Re-arranged furniture are ornaments and now cant remember where anything goes
4) Ruinied 2 pans from his set of 6, permanently
5) Broken the dishwasher, which is still not fixed
6) Eaten a large proportion of his food and drank his alcohol,but cannot remember what the items
were to replace them.
7) Woken up this morning to find his car, which has been left in my care vandalised with graffiti
I shall start packing my bags immediatley. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2004|09:03 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 2-TEN FM | ] |
I wasn't really up for going out last night when I got in from work, but I had promised Jay. We went to a bar which I didn't really want to go to because its so cruisy and I never feel very good about myself. Anyway I just sat there and kept telling myself I was fabulous. The only I got was fabulously drunk. This wasn't an intention but more a way off numbing the crap bar experience. Now most of us know that taking your phone out with you when you are drinking is a disaster zone and so I normally don't. But last night it was in my pocket, and with Jay chatting away to some work colleague I decided the logical thing to do was text everyone in my phone book. You can im sure imagine my horror this morning. I briefly remember getting on a bus and briefly remember getting off it. I think I may have spoken to someone online when I got in (also never a good idea but always seems logical when fuelled with alcohol) although im not sure and I beleive I took a bath before I went to bed judging by the soggy floor this morning, either that or I just missed the bowl by a long way. All this after years and years of learning how to control myself when drinking. The shame. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 12th, 2004|09:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 2-TEN FM | ] |
I am not a particular fan of the email. Everyone I want to communicate with I do so over the phone. The only things that seem to appear in my inbox nowadays are emails from people telling my how to get my dick enlarged or how to borrow vast sums of money which I don't want. So it was with great suprise that when I checked this morning to see how many inches I am promised this week that the name of an old school friend who I have been wondering about for ages appeared at the top of the list. I think email might be beginning to redeem itself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2004|12:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Kelis - Millionaire | ] |
One of the best things about living in a city like Reading is the amazing choice of places we have to eat. English pubs, fast food outlets, noodle bars, tapas bars, Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Portugese and fish restaurants hide in every little corner of the city. But sometimes the best place of all to eat is in your own home, having a great meal cooked for you by a guy who loves you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2004|12:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | gloomy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Reading 107 | ] |
A gloomy day here in Reading. A train crashed just after leaving Reading last night and 6 people are dead and 150 injured. It hits quite close to home as the train was travelling to Plymouth and its a train that I myself often use on a Saturday night as it leaves Reading at just after six when I finish work. The sort of day where you feel like you shouldn't feel happy knowing other people so nearby to you are experiencing so much pain. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|04:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Reading 107 | ] |
Nothing sparks off a cleaning marathon like the news your mother is stopping by. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|10:11 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indifferent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Lucie Silvas - What Your Made Of | ] |
Will it ever stop raining? Mother is arriving from Germany is just a few hours time and going to stop by to see my new pad. This british weather will simply not do. Also I have no hot water. I have had no hot water for 3 days. My life has turned into a blur of frantic phonecalls more suited to a multi-armed Hindu godess. The problem is you see, that my landlord is in Australia. This makes it most difficult for him to sort out the problem for me. I have explained that mother simply cannot stay in a house with no hot water. He sympathises and says that 'someone' should be over today. Right. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2004|10:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | thoughtful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sheryl Crow - The First Cut Is Deepest | ] |
I was enjoying a supposedly relaxing bath this morning while listening to the radio when suddenly my ex boyfriends voice pops on as part of some 'proud to be part of Reading' jingle. Not impressed. It was like the time I saw his face plastered on the back of a bus on my way to college. Both of these mini-traumas happened before nine in the morning. Its emotional assault. Its not because I actually care about the bastard but more because I hate being reminded that the bastard exists, certainly before Ive had a coffee anyway. |
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